Last period English with Year 9s

Mr B: (finishing long, insightful spiel about worksheet) Okay, away you go.
S: Go where?
M: Work on the worksheet.
S: What worksheet?
M: The one I was just talking about. The one on the desk in front of you.
S: I don't have one.
M: I gave you one.
S: Well, I don't have it now.

(A pause. Mr B crosses the room to the student's desk.)

M: That's because you've folded it into an origami frog.
S: It jumps.

(The student demonstrates. With a poke in it's backside, the paper frog leaps from the desktop. The rest of the class burst into applause.)

M: Very good, now unfold it and get to work.
S: (horrified) You want me to kill it?

(Mr B turns to check up on another student.)

M: B, have you done any work yet?
B: (proudly indicating workbook) I've done up to here.
M: What's that?
B: My maths homework.
M: Ok, so not the worksheet.
B: Oh, is that what we're doing?
M: I'm afraid so.
J: Mr. B, my iPod has stopped working.
M: Do you know how important that is to me right now?
J: (hopefully) Very?
M: C, why are you laughing?
C: I can't stop.
M: You've turned red. Where's your sheet?
(C indicates S beside her.)
C: His frog ate it.
S: It tried having sex with it first.

(Mr B prays for the final bell.)