kids and drugs

I'm currently acting as a disciplinarian in a year 9 workshop on drug and alcohol education. The kids are using it as an opportunity to show off their vast experience of the subject. I think the woman in charge (who regrettably has a tiny voice) is learning more than she could have expected. Or wanted to.

WOMAN: What category of drug would you put marijuana into?
ENTIRE CLASS EXCEPT CHRISTIAN GIRL: Good!
CHRISTIAN GIRL: Is marijuana a powder?
(Class erupts in derisive laughter.)

I feel for this small voiced woman, trapped in a room with the 9D boys in final period. But at least it makes a change from self-pity.

The highlight has been a set of "vision goggles" that simulate the effect of drunkenness. The kids have to cross the room wearing them and then catch a ball the woman throws at him. I am persuaded (at the threat of a riot) to try them. The effect is not entirely disimilar to a drunken night out. I'm glad I have plenty of practive at sober walking under the influence. And I catch the ball. Ha! So now my class is sure I'm an alco. (As opposed to merely suspecting.)

The conclusion is proving painful.
WOMAN: So what have learned this afternoon?
D: That attacking Ben got me an afterschool detention.
W: Ok... What about you?
B: That getting attacked by Daniel got me an afterschool detention.
W: Oh, what did everyone else learn about drugs?
J: Nothing.
W: Oh. Good to see my time was well spent. What about you?
T: What J said.
W: Ok..
S: What T and J said.
W: Ok, does anyone have any questions?
D: Yeah, where can I buy a set of those goggles.

I have been the subject of much derision for having my haircut. Which was briefly amusing and quickly tiring. I understand why teachers end up wearing such bland clothes with sensible shoes...